As members of Squirt.org, we all come with different intentions—whether it’s hooking up, dating, sharing photos, or simply browsing. If someone isn’t seeking the same thing as you, that’s perfectly fine! Just move on and keep searching for what truly interests you.
However, it’s crucial to reflect on any biases you may have regarding individuals based on their identity or appearance. Society often conditions us to overlook entire groups of people, leading to unwarranted assumptions and judgments.
Stigma can manifest in various ways including sexual racism, HIV stigma, and ableism. It can also appear as dismissing individuals because of their body size, gender identity, or presentation. While you are not obligated to be attracted to everyone, treating fellow Squirt.org members with respect is essential. If someone communicates that they feel hurt or offended by your words or actions, it’s important to acknowledge their feelings, apologize, and learn from it.
Remember, not everyone is comfortable showcasing their face in their profiles or during photo exchanges. Some may prefer to remain anonymous for personal reasons, and that’s okay. If you’re not interested in connecting with anonymous users, try to move on gracefully. If you encounter anything that feels suspicious or unsafe, don’t hesitate to report it—trust your instincts.
Be Mindful of Your Language
One effective way to combat stigma on Squirt.org is by asking questions respectfully and avoiding stigmatizing language in your conversations and profile. Having discussions about sexual health and other practices is often necessary, but it’s important to approach these topics delicately.
When discussing sexual health practices, consider using these phrases in your chats or profiles:
- “When did you last get tested? I had an STI test two months ago.”
- “I’m on PrEP. Is there anything I should know about your HIV status?”
- “Your profile mentions you’re undetectable. When was your last check-up?”
It’s key to remember that no one wants to feel judged concerning their sexual health or substance use. Avoid terms like “clean” or “addict” when expressing disinterest. Simply move on so you both can find what you’re looking for.
Questions about bodies and health can be particularly sensitive for trans people, persons with a disability, and people who use drugs. Always ask consent before delving into potentially delicate topics, and refrain from asking questions out of mere curiosity. Remember that Squirt.org members are here to connect, not to serve as educators about their identities. Follow their lead when discussing their bodies or experiences, if they choose to share.
Keeping Your Profile Updated
Including details about your health practices in your profile can be an effective way to communicate your expectations and comforts upfront. By mentioning your use of PrEP, maintaining an undetectable HIV viral load, or using condoms, you increase your chances of finding a compatible partner. Squirt.org members have the option to share their sexual practice preference status on their profiles.
It’s Okay If It’s Not a Match
Not every connection will be a fit, whether due to incompatible sexual health practices or simply a lack of attraction. Being honest and polite can help close a conversation without any hard feelings. Here are some respectful ways to communicate that it’s not a match:
- “I don’t think this is a match for me.”
- “I appreciate your message, but I’m not interested.”
- “It seems we’re looking for different things. Wishing you the best in your search!”
While ghosting may be common, strive to communicate clearly if you’re no longer interested. By being honest and kind, we can minimize harm and foster a healthier online community.